


A Day in the Life of a Functional Human Being

by IsLife



Series: Epilogue Month [6]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Earth C (Homestuck), F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-08
Updated: 2019-06-08
Packaged: 2020-04-23 01:59:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19141300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IsLife/pseuds/IsLife
Summary: Jane lives on Earth C and has a normal day.





	A Day in the Life of a Functional Human Being

Your name is Jane Egbert, three years ago you and your friends re arrived at Earth C. At that time you realized two things, One; you wanted to restart Crocker Corp, Two; you no longer wanted the name Crocker. You and you're father both decided Egbert was a better fit.

Now you have a well established baking company and you rule the Human Kingdom. This requires an interesting schedule, which is why it is currently five am and you must be up.

First you jump into the shower and make yourself more presentable. Then you can make yourself a hearty breakfast and get dressed. After eating you can finally leave the house.

After leaving you drive to the Capitol and tend to anything that must be looked at, lucky for you there's no major problems to deal with today so you can just read over a few new proposals and throw them in your suitcase before driving to John's house.

You check on John as much as you can. He’s going through a lot and you strive to be a good sister. He even gave you a key! You open his door and find him asleep on the couch next to a Mr. Dirk Strider. Truly scandalizing! 

Just kidding, they're not in any compromising positions or anything. You've found them like this a few times, actually, they're just sitting in front of the TV heads resting on each other with Dirks arm around John. They're so cute, you take a picture. It'll be fun to tease them later.

Once the picture is good, you turn off the light and take off Dirk and John's respective glasses and put them on a table before they lose them. After you confirm they don't have anything sharp on the couch, (one time they somehow broke a glass in their sleep and stabbed Dirk in the arm) you make them some food and put in tupperware next to their glasses and head out the door.

Next you have to head to Egbert Corp, this is probably the easiest of your tasks, you do very little for the company. You simply run in and make sure everyone's doing okay and run out. 

Today was supposed to be a quick day on the business end of things which is good, because you're lovely girlfriends have a date planned and you don't intend to be late.

Luckily you are not late, you arrive to the Carapace Kingdom and walk into some weird theme restaurant Roxy and Calliope love. Speaking of, there they are in your usual table, they look very excited.

“Janey!” Roxy says as you come closer. She shoots up and gives you a kiss. 

“Hello sweetheart,” you say kissing her back. “You two look very dashing” They're both in lovely suits, you three are just suit people. 

“Hell yeah we do!” Roxy says before doing a little spin, her pink suit has coat tails it's adorable. You can tell Calliope agrees, she rests her hand on her head and sighs a cute little happy sigh. 

“But yeah,” She starts while dragging you into the booth “We’re actually here for something very important!” 

“Leave it to you to find an ulterior motive for a date!” You say in offence.

“Aw, Jane no, it's not like that a promise” You're prankster's gambit goes up a tick. Hell yeah

“Hoohoo! Just kidding darlings, what's going on?” Calliope giggles.

“Someone broke Calli’s record!” Roxy says slamming her hands on the table.

“Yes, when Roxy and I came in and saw it, she decided something must be done.” Calliope says.

“Well shucks! This is exciting! I'll say who was even able to eat that much raw meat without getting horribly sick?” 

Roxy point to the wall of winners, Karkat’s picture is on the top. You laugh.

“Why was Karkat even here?” You say in between laughs, the idea of him scarfing down raw steaks is too much for you.

“Last week Roxy and I had a movie night with him and Dave,”

“Then they treasonously came here and attempted to slanders Calliope’s good name!” Roxy says, cutting the much calmer Calliope off.

“I asked Dave about it last night and he said that he asked Karkat if raw meat was even good for trolls and he yelled ‘It's good for this troll!’ before eating so much meat he threw up.” You begin laughing again, that's Karkat for you! 

You actually spend a lot of time with Karkat now a days, given your the head rulers of the Troll and Human Kingdoms respectively. He wasn’t answering any messages for two days in a row last week, you suppose the aforementioned meat would be the reason for that. 

You're still laughing when the meat comes over, Roxy quickly shushes you and you hold her hand in intense anticipation. Time for Calliope to earn her spot on the top back.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry the idea of Karkat eating 25+ raw steaks is the funniest fucking thing to me


End file.
